Index

Age: 46, Location: bourne

When were you at your weakest:
Being abused by ex

When were you at your strongest:
Taking care of parents

How are you feeling now:
Ready for change

Age: 27, Location: Houston

When were you at your weakest:
I was at my weakest when I was 16 years old. I was completely under the control of several mental illnesses at once: untreated bipolar, complex posttraumatic stress disorder, and dissociative identity disorder. I was also self-injuring, and was severely bulimic and anorexic; I weighed only 68 lbs. I was dying. I could hardly hold a coherent conversation, yet I thought that I was fine. I thought I was finally in control of myself, and I was finally ok. I was so sick that even my therapist said she couldn't help me anymore, and would not see me again until I went into the hospital because, as she put it, ""I refuse to sit here and watch you die while we talk like nothing is happening."" I can't say that I blame her.

When were you at your strongest:
Age 26- about seven months ago. I had to let go of my father. When I was a child, he abused my mother, my sister, and me in every way imaginable. I was raped, hit, you name it. But from the time I was 15, my father financially supported my psychiatric and medical treatment, as well as other things. For over 10 years, we had this strange little dance of a ""relationship""- I needed money, he provided it- and I literally couldn't afford to turn that away. This past year though, I finally got myself into place where I could. I live with my mom. I have public health care. And I had to work through this idea that my father never really cared about me- he just wanted one last way to control and manipulate me. Cutting that tie was like killing the dream of ever having a father to love me. But I am so glad that I did, because now I am completely free of him for the first time in my life. It took enormous strength to go through that process and I am incredibly proud of myself for doing so.

How are you feeling now:
I am at the strongest, healthiest, most stable place I have ever been in my life. I have recovery and an unshakable self-respect that no one can take away from me. I have found my voice, something that was lost for so long, and now I use it to help others heal. I began a blog called Writing for Recovery (on facebook and wordpress) that encourages people to tell their stories. I'm going to school and looking toward my future with nothing but hope and gratitude. So, so much gratitude.

Age: 41, Location: Los Angeles, CA

When were you at your weakest:
sitting in the bathtub, with a razor in my hand, trying to end my life.

When were you at your strongest:
replacing a toilet in my bathroom all by myself!

How are you feeling now:
ok. still battling the depression, trying to find a balance and waking up pain free.

Age: 67, Location: North Lauderdale, Florida

When were you at your weakest:
When I was in a relationship with a man who mentally abused me.

When were you at your strongest:
When I was 23 and knew that my mother would need to be looked after for the rest of her life and that I chose it to be my job to do that. She took care of me now it was my turn to repay that love.

How are you feeling now:
I am a widow and the last 6 years have been hard and with losing Michael Jackson and three very close friends it has been tough but I am doing okay now and look forward to my future with my family and grandchildren

Age: 22, Location: Ontario, Canada

When were you at your weakest:
I was at my weakest five years after I was sexaully assaulted. I tried so hard to move on but it wasn't happening. I felt so tired, so bored, so lonely, so alienated because my friends couldn't understand what I'd gone through and if I tried to talk to them, they wouldn't listen and they didn't know how to respond. I tried seeing a psychologist but it was too expensive. I felt so utterly alone. I tried to commit suicide but it didn't work out. I struggled to re-define myself, to find the drive I was lacking.

When were you at your strongest:
I felt strong when I told a good person that I'd only just met a few weeks previous. This person understood my pain and would listen anytime I needed to talk. I felt empowered and in control because I could talk openly and I wasn't judged.

How are you feeling now:
I still struggle with feelings of worthlessness and occassional risky behaviours related to self-doubt. I still stuggle from time to time getting my drive back in school, work, my social life and my relationships. I still need to talk about the sexual assault often, when feelings come up. I am lucky to have someone I can share these feelings with and who will listen to my unconditionally. I feel stronger and I feel more confident. I feel I am worth fighting for.

Age: 20, Location: Lake Forest, Illinois

When were you at your weakest:
When I had Asperger's Syndrome but remained undiagnosed with it for the first seventeen years of my life. The slightest brush against me brought about discomfort; persistent background noises were terrible distractions; and I had so few friends at school because I couldn't grasp even the most basic of social cues. I retreated so far into myself, I wouldn't even look people in the eye when talking to them. Life itself seemed chaotic and cruel, and I just wanted out.

When were you at your strongest:
When I was finally diagnosed and received the right treatment needed to ease my heightened sensitivity and help me learn certain social cues. I sought out and successfully found sources of love and beauty which helped me see that life was a worthwhile endeavor. I took pleasure in the wonders that the world offers to us, from colorful flowers to sunlight sparkling atop freshly fallen snow to the laugh of a little child to the music and messages from Michael Jackson, one of the most beautiful souls that ever existed on this earth.

How are you feeling now:
I feel happier and more at peace with myself. I still have occasional moments when I find myself wavering back to my previous place of fear, doubt, and resistance, but I'm learning to shift my focus back upon my areas of light and love when they occur. I will savor life, and I will do whatever I can to make it more loving and peaceful for others.

Age: 52, Location: Australia

When were you at your weakest:
When I was raising my children when my husband walked out on me. it took me a couple of years to come to terms with having full responsibilites that srrounded my life and my children.

When were you at your strongest:
being independant and not depending on other people...and the ability to be able to stand up for myself and children.

How are you feeling now:
I feel like i am now living on top of the world. My children have flown the nest and now I have 14 lovely grandchildren and 1 great grandson and I am still totally an independant person who has achieved a lot of obstacles in my life.

Age: 55, Location: Americana, SP - Brazil

When were you at your weakest:
I can say three moments I was at my weakest: the first one was when my sister died. Her passing changed everything inside me and it was as if I had to relearn how to live again.The second moment was when I realized that the man I had married had no consideration at all and, being so religious as I have always been, this brought so much fear and sadness. I have to be really strong but can only take small steps... The third one was the most revolutionizing ever! It may sound strange for many, but it was when Michael Jackson passed. I was broken into thousands of pieces and these pieces were (and still are!) scattered. Fortunately, I found people in the same situation, wondering why we would be so intensely touched by a celebrity. I had never ever loved anyone outside my family - but Michael opened up this circle and I was so devastated by his death. Nothing would put me in my shoes again. I bought every single book, CD, DVD, opus... I downloaded all of his pictures... I really did not understand what was going on... I was done. I really wondered where I had been where he was on earth. It was the worst period of my life ever!

When were you at your strongest:
I doubt I have ever been that strong. I can not remember a moment I was strong enough to fight sadness, the feeling of impotence, the feeling of having lost the point. I guess there were thousands of little moments in which I felt better, a bit more self-confident, believing God would be there for me. I know He is holding my hand. I just ask God to help me not stop holding His.

How are you feeling now:
I am not a self-confident person. I fear, I cry, I doubt if I am in the right way... I feel lonely and honestly, I don't really know if what is going on now is the best. I just try to live for the day, I LOVE, LOVE to say ""I LOVE YOU"" and feel ""Love"" coming back my way. I feel blessed and grateful for being here, for being part of God's plan. I know God hasn't given up on me and this means I still have another chance to do things right.

Age: 27, Location: South Africa

When were you at your weakest:
After experiencing rejection and failure

When were you at your strongest:
When I found out who I was and my true passion , and realized that it is ok to be me myself and not be apologetic for my existence .

How are you feeling now:
Im feeling hopeful and confident