Index

Age: 46, Location: Sydney, Australia

When were you at your weakest:
A couple of times. When I miscarried my first baby in December 1995 and in 1998 when my eldest son was burnt with a cup of tea - my cup of tea, he was 15 months old. Since 1995 I have suffered with bouts of depression & feelings of death being my only way of escaping my darkest hours. I am also married to a control freak who has put me down, frequently & made me feel like a waste of space.

When were you at your strongest:
Before I got married. Being single & carefree with a large group of friends. I felt nothing could hold me back, the world was there for me to explore.

How are you feeling now:
Tired, I am tired of being made to feel useless & unloved by my husband, I'm his 2nd wife & have always felt like I was his 2nd choice. My kids keep me going, I look at their (2) faces & I know they need me. I love my kids & they love me too, they keep me strong.

Age: 40, Location: Raymond N.H.

When were you at your weakest:
Right now,,have lupus and fibro,and been dealing with a slum landlord,who is now evicting us..

When were you at your strongest:
When i had my youngest son.I didn't make it to the hospital and he was born in my livingroom.

How are you feeling now:
Lonrly,and trying to find a healthy,safe home for my kids and myself,,one we will want to come home to and invite friends to come spend time with us in.

Age: 46, Location: Australia

When were you at your weakest:
My first relationship.

When were you at your strongest:
Realised yoga gave me inner strength. It changed me.

How are you feeling now:
Am at peace and finally love and accept myself for ho I am.

Age: 24, Location:

When were you at your weakest:
After I was raped and didn't know where to go or what to do

When were you at your strongest:
Right after our house burned down and me and husband agreed to be in it forever gother

How are you feeling now:
Wonderful. I have a great husband and a great job

Age: 31, Location: london, england

When were you at your weakest:
I dont no where to start:- maybe it was growing up a (fat) girl and getting called names by my mother and so called friends, being bullied and then the bullier, maybe living a nightmare with her and her husband who both liked to drink and make fun of me,and beat my brother, maybe when i was an unruley, thoughtless, teenager doing drugs and thieving from shops and family, maybe the loss of my beloved grandfather who was like my father,(that broke me)..maybe then having a miscarrage with my partner who didnt care, maybe through my early 20's when i then lost my father to drugs, maybe then having a string of bad, abusive relationships, maybe then getting raped-quite a few times by different people over those bad years, maybe while taking hard, class a drugs and being involved with prostitution,to pay for the class a drugs to forget my life, maybe then nearly loosing my long term partner, then actually loosing my mother, maybe still then trying to beat the class a drug habit and become a better person, and then trying to get out of the prostitution to pay for that habit,and getting away from a partner who beat me for doing nothing but try to help him and us, maybe then having my brother in and out of prison most of his life and feeling desperate for change, through to my late 20s, maybe then actually loosing my long term partner (for the last 8 yrs, to an accident that could have been prevented, actually only last month (nov 2010), maybe theres a whole lot of times in my life ive wanted to die,or just go somewhere else to be someone else. live a different life or no life at all.

When were you at your strongest:
mainly in all those times in my answers above i have had my beautiful grandmother who has stuck by me through thick and thin...weather ive known that at the time or not...she is my world. i have had a very hard upbringing and have definatly made the wrong choices in my life so far or even maybe, those wrong moments have found me and my life, some i had control over and i took the wrong path, sometimes i look back and i had no control, but out of all the bad, now i am a wonderful person inside and out and i no i deserve to be loved and i will find happiness one day and have children of my own and be happy with my life. i feel i do have a lot of things to still be happy about and grateful for....there are people worse off than me. its been these last few yrs that have made me the woman i feel i am today for the better,and its now, i choose those past experiences to be put to rest that helps me get thru another day as i always say.....u cant change ur past only ur future...

How are you feeling now:
strangley unloaded, but the same-(if that makes sence?)....its very strange to see my life written out in just a few sentances in such stark, eye opening words but life is not easy, some people are what they are and others will change and want to make life better and i think its what we choose to do with our experiences that mould the person we choose to be...i am loved by the family i have and i no my life is on the up, i have to make better choices, i have to make it fulfilling for me, that way i no i will make it one day. i draw strength from somewhere,and how u all choose to interperate that strength is up to u, i no i have my angels.

Age: 23, Location: ?

When were you at your weakest:
When I was silent.When I surrendered - when I surrendered all hope, when I surrendered my power, when I surrendered myself.

When were you at your strongest:
When I spoke, when I faced and accepted my past and what happened - as utterly difficult, painful, and unfair as it is, and then gave thanks. When I continued on, despite how much I didn't want to; when I continued on even though I felt like I had no reason to. I was strongest in those moments when I was filled with despair, consumed with pain, paralyzed by grief, drowning in tears and yet held on, continued to live and waited out my misery. I was so strong when I chose to let go of the past, and even stronger when I no longer knew what my future would look or be like because I let go of the past. When I became proud of being a rape victim and survivor, not ashamed.

How are you feeling now:
Like I, my story is important. I am feeling EMPOWERED and grateful. Thank you!

Age: 30, Location: Guernsey

When were you at your weakest:
When I was lost in the depths of depression, unable to function and self-harming, waking up every morning and wishing I'd died in my sleep the night before.

When were you at your strongest:
Being discharged after successfully completing therapy, able to go about my life as normal and taking joy in living life again.

How are you feeling now:
Happy, confident, secure, blessed!

Age: 37, Location: Santa Cruz, CA

When were you at your weakest:
When my dad died, it seems the accumolation of my feelings about years of emotional abuse, sadness about family loss and bad feelings about myself were all unleashed against me. Everything points back to the basic idea that ""you don’t deserve..."" to exist. ""You rotten, old pot."" Every day, over and over, ""You’re slow like a tortoise, you spoiled rotten brat you think the whole world revolves around you, you want a pop on the face you want a burn, I’m gonna give you what’s for and you’re going to wish you didn’t""….exist. Instead of fading into distant memories, this noise in my head grows like a voracious time lapse photography weed, displacing kinder thoughts, choking out reason. With each disappointment in life, each loss I can’t prevent, each miscalculated outcome, each less than perfect moment, in fact with every moment that passes, the conviction is proven: You don’t deserve this life. It is not for you.Try to earn your life…try, keep fighting to win, but never quite. People talk about earning love, but that was never the point. The right to just be, loved or otherwise was the question. Is still the question. The answer was (and wasn’t): Achieve. The anticipation of achievement. Pushing the limits of mind and body so far past broken, shattered but still formidable, even with brightness. Some ingredient of hope was stronger in a moment than the limits of reality, indomitable, conquer anything for a reprieve. To be granted life. Conquest sure enough, but the moment always fel flat. The heart fought to stay alive at the expense of all else, but…. Slowly, the body, the mind, the heart were emptied, barren, drained. Dissolved and wiped away. The goal never quite met and the fighter an empty shell.This is the weakest feeling I know, the feeling that came on the heals of my dad's death.

When were you at your strongest:
When my mother died and I became the guardian of my 12 years younger sister, I felt strongest. I was blessed with strength, focus, intensity, passion and joy for all I was doing. There were a lot of days in the first years that I just cried so much, but - even though I couldn't see further down the road than each next footstep, and sadness was a big part of life - I felt so confident that I was on the right path. Every day I faced more new challenges than I could have even imagined,and I often felt I was giving more than I imagined could be given, but the strength to face it was always right there for me. In little ways like cooking dinner every night and finding my fun with her little toys, and big ways like making decisions that effected her well being -- it was as if the confidence of generations was suddenly in me...even when I made mistakes, when I failed (and I did) I had tenacity. I really looked forward to every next try. I knew I was a good thing.

How are you feeling now:
Detached and Unfocused: Note sure what I'm all about. Tentative: Not sure which direction to turn next. Lost: Missing the sense of purpose I've always had. Afraid: Of rejection. Grateful: For the few constants in my life.

Age: 53, Location: hesperia ca

When were you at your weakest:
after my mom died. i will never have closer. i take full blame for her death.

When were you at your strongest:
in high school

How are you feeling now:
depressed. not only do i miss my mom but i miss my love michael jackson